“I couldn’t because ...”

People tell me that line all the time, and I always wondered why. Let’s say you planned a party and invited your friends. One of the friends who didn’t show up told you the next day, “I couldn’t make it to your party because I had to prepare for a class and then work on my project.” Let’s say again that instead he said, “I couldn’t make it. Did I miss a fun party?” Which answer do you prefer and why?

I prefer the later. It would make me feel that he wanted to come but he couldn’t. But the first answer would make me think he had better things to do than come to my party, and he is giving me excuses so I would keep inviting him in he future. Granted the reason someone misses anything (when they have a choice) is because they had something better to do. But actually saying them will only draw emphasis to that fact, and not to the feeling of wanting to come to the party. I would much rather hear that he wanted to come instead of the reasons why he didn’t. I think it’s more positive and affirming. But then I do sound a little like a curmudgeon whining about nothing.